If I ever had a moment of choosing between my mother and my father I‘ll definitely choose my mother. To be very honest it is not because I love my mother more than my father, the reason is my mother was so helpful and she is with me all the ups and downs so far.What about the father? Well the feeling over my father is very alluring friendship.
There are some friends we need but not always, but when we need them they are not willing to help us or listen. Yet again we are trying to keep some sort of relationship with them somehow. When I was a child the only memory about my father was going to Katunayake airport for in every nine months. He worked in abroad. Those days he was a complete stranger to me. Over a one month period of staying both of us were able to build a rapport, yet again he is about to leave end of four week. This happened throughout the childhood. I did not understand who my father was. My father never brought me even small chocolate, but always brought considerable amount of book. He is the one who responsible of developing my reading habit. At the age of 10 I had my own library.
After grade five exams I really had a considerable time to spend with my father. Instead of coming here both my mother and me went to see him in Pn’G.Over three months period absolutely gave me totally different perspective of my father. He took me into the highlands; we went to see Mt Hagan. He took me to see strange looking parliament building in Port Moresby. We went to see different tribes, we did boat rides in Sepik river.it was the best vacation I ever had. End of the three months actually I did not wanted to come. By force my mother took me back, she gave priority over my education rather than having a wonderful time with my father. But when I was leaving father I did not want to stay with my mother. All I wanted was stay with him. He was very influencing person.
But I remember how my father tried his best to extend my vacation .Even he looked for schools around Goroka in highland of Papua Newginia, which was a town the total population of little more than 10000 people. Even if I came with my mother those days I was deeply attached to my father. We did communicate through letters. I wrote everything, sometime letter were too large. But my father read single word of it replied me back.
I turned into a very confused teenager; I think it happened life with my mother was so restricted. Certain ways my father tried to talk to me but he never had a time to spent with me, neither did he not spend time with anyone. He had an idea of climbing Mt .Evarast, Well of course he went to Nepal and send me photographs with heavy brick buildings. But my father did not climb Mt .Everest or did not make even a close by Glacier.What I knew was he completely stayed away from his us, friends his profession. Nearly nine months he did not send me a even a picture post card.
My uncles tried to trace him in P n’G as well in Nepal but we ended up with very unsuccessful stories. But I remember one day suddenly he appeared in front of our home. His sudden arrival did not make me happy, but he had lot of reasons on MIA. As usual my mother was the only person who was listening but I made my objections very publically. This time my father came up with a brilliant idea of migrating the whole family to Nigeria. I remember my mother was asking why do we try Nigeria , instead of Australia of New Zealand, My father’s simple answer was Nigeria requires surveyors but none of the other countries do not surveyors .My mother did not like the idea and my father again packed his stuff to P n’G .
When I did my O/L examination I had really long holiday one 4 months. This time I requested that I want to come P N’G.But he refused. It was a time that I do what I want by the hook or by the crook. When I was rejected from my father I took the frustration from my mother and the grandmother. I started behave so violently at home, even my mother send me at a rehabilitation work shop at Subhodhi for one week, But nothing could stop me .Finally my father agreed and sent the tickets.
I stayed with him over 4 months and I realized that my father turned into Papuwa Newgunian than a Sri Lankan. He did not have life in Sri Lanka. This vacation was the time I tried different kinds of Liquor and so many trials and errors in life. My mother wanted to me to do A/l exam in Sri Lanka and I had to come back. This was the time the relationship with my father started getting disturbed. I did not write him at all, I did not read his letters as well. Even I did not answer his phone calls.
Ironically when I wanted to wanted to stay away from my father he desperately wanted to get closed with me. He stayed in here and tried his very best to get close with me. Also he started writing a book with his all traveling he did. He told his book very much like collection T.E Lawrence’s epistolary. But I don’t think my father had so many journeys like T.E Lawrence. Somehow his book could not completed ,actually he asked help but I was not interested and now I think it was the most lunatic decision which I made.
I was in my moronic youth hood. I put little weight for every request he made, he decided to go back This time he told his departure will benefit for everyone else expect himself. This was in 2002 and till 2008 he worked in PN’G.As usual he came in every 9 months.
When I started thinking of a profession my first choice was become an air stewards, I only thought of the seems to be traveling experience that I going to have, But it was my father who strongly opposed this idea and explained why I should not think of becoming an air stewards .He explained this using very layman’s terms. That day I got really angry with my father and I took about 5 -6 years to understand that my father was right from the beginning.
Now I know he was far sighted than my mother always.other than than he never asked which grade I m getting in the school, or which subjects that you going to study.
But he thought me how to make Pina Colada, he hated scraping coconut.My mother also did not like mixing cocktails for him.I was the only one who was willing to scrape coconut.He never bother about my education, it was my mother who worried about my education and pushed me forward when I ‘m in trouble.
My father was a good chess player. But he was the only chess player who never tried of protecting the Queen. He had his own theory of self defence by the queen herself.in a simple way queen will find her own protection when you just ignore her. Actually he applied his theory in his personal life. To my mother he gave the utmost freedom, and my mother was very protective by herself. In my experience theory was very successfully in the game of chess as well in his family life.
But I tried it sometimes; I was not smart enough to make the correct move like my father.
Somehow yesterday was the seventh death anniversary of my father. If he was alive he will be celebrating his 70th birthday on last June 25th.
So what will happen if he reads this blog .I’m very sure he will have a good laugh and encourage me to write some more. But the same time I know if I read something like this to my mother she will very disappointed of me as well she might get depressed. Well that’s the different between my mother and my father.